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| To meet THE love of my life.
I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too! | | |
| I'm constantly depressed, never happy. Even when you'd think I'd be thrilled, I'm just not. I'm continually grumpy. The only think I look forward to is food...but after I finish stuffing myself I'm even more miserable than I was before. I can't find happiness. I can't find closure with Justin. He obviously wishes I was a brunette...he obviously doesn't EVER want to see me anymore. I don't know what's going on but it's bringing me down. Why won't he just let me go? I'll tell you right now, I'm a horrible girlfriend. Maybe it's karma...but honestly, I just think I was never meant to be loved...or not easily anyways. I'm too hard to deal with...and I know that. The saddest thing is, I don't ENJOY being the way I am...which probably factors into my whole 'depression' ordeal. I don't know what's going on...I don't know what is on my mind. Some answers need to come forward, please, God. I should have NEVER cheated on Justin. We will never grow to love eachother the way we once did. I shouldn't have a Facebook. Food shouldn't be my top priority. I shouldn't be such a bitch. I shouldn't talk foul about others. I shouldn't cuss. I shouldn't disrespect my parents. I should work harder in school. I should work out more often. I should be a better person and learn to take responsibility. I suck at life, I'm finally convinced. I don't want to go on dwelling. I don't want a 'pity party'...I'm just a girl trying to grow to be a better person. Constructive criticism works, right? I love God. I love my family. I love my friends. And as much as I hate to admit it, I love Justin way more than he loves me. | | |
| Well-- Halloween was last night. I went to Hattie's grandpa's viewing...then had dinner w/friends. Justin and I broke up...I basically slept Halloween away. I really want to go shopping and watch a scary movie. I get my RC Tuesday and I might as well prepare myself for the yelling and other nonsense. I want a boyfriend who can be respectful of me and my wishes and please, God, can he like my friends? Sheeeesh. I'll update later...gotta go catch a movie!
PS- my signing party is Thurs. :)
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| Well-- Halloween was last night. I went to Hattie's grandpa's viewing...then had dinner w/friends. Justin and I broke up...I basically slept Halloween away. I really want to go shopping and watch a scary movie. I get my RC Tuesday and I might as well prepare myself for the yelling and other nonsense. I want a boyfriend who can be respectful of me and my wishes and please, God, can he like my friends? Sheeeesh. I'll update later...gotta go catch a movie!
PS- my signing party is Thurs. :)
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| Senior year has finally begun. It's so hard to believe it's here.
Boys, boys, boys!
Wow, I've managed to hold on to the same guy for nearly two years now...it's amazing! I don't know how I've managed to keep him hanging on. Often times I think he deserves so much more than me and my indecisiveness. I love Justin with all my heart, but senior year about put our relationship to an end. Fortunately, I managed to put our relationship on hold, just so I could clear my head. I laid my eyes on a few other guys during this time, however, I could not let my relationship with Justin go...he has given me so much, including headaches, but kidding aside, he's been a joy. Tailgating, cutie pies, football games, and nights when responsibility was the LAST thing I could handle, tried our relationship in its entirety...but I believe in us, and want us to work. I'll keep you posted...
My girls!
My 'best friend,' Amelia, is now the holder of the 'Miss North Davidson' title. I was so very proud of her. Courtney Fox tested my patience by having to involve herself in absolutely EVERYTHING, but fortunately, I let this one slide. My temper tends to get in my way, and I'm working hard to keep it under wraps. Tess and I were both nominated for HQ- unfortunately that is as far as we got. Amelia didn't vote for either of us, which was disappointing and humiliating...good to know. That started a fuss, a big one as a matter of fact and made me question my relationship with the girl I call my 'best friend.' We're fine now, though. Besides, we better all make the most of our final year together. Tess and I will be close, but Amelia and Shaundee will be out of reach. I love all of them dearly, and wont know what to do with myself without them around...I don't even want to think about it honestly...times are tough. I also love Alex, Jessica, Kelci, Amber, Rebecca...these girls are fun and sweet.
Softball-
It's getting sickening. I'm so burnt out. I guess knowing that I'm verbally committed to WU doesn't help the matter. I need a break, really. I'm excited for myself though...I know WU will be a blast...I just want to take my time getting there. I've started a workout regimen, 3 days a week-- mostly cardio. Hey, it's better than nothin'.
Style
I'm still pretty drab, lovin' gloomy colors, lovin' the boho/hippie thing mixed with chic. I want to go shopping SO bad. I'm so winter ready!
Activities
Lately? School, softball, friends, CHURCH!, boyfriend, and a new hobby-- camping?
Wants
A new wardrobe, fall & winter in the flesh, comfy clothes, slipper shoes!, camping trips, mountains, a few pounds to fall off, God's love, and much, much more.
I'm happy now. I'm loving life...dreading when this chapter ends. I want to make it last-- I'll miss everyone SO much!
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